One Month From Gotcha

We have had Grace for one month now and we have been home from China for three weeks. Grace is doing very well and she and her big sister are getting closer day by day. They are still competing with each other but Madyson will insist on taking her little sister when she leave the house. I think I mention in my prior post that he pediatrician says that Grace is on target developmentally and for us to just continue working on her talking.

Currently she is saying Dad-dad, ace (aka. Grace) and Up. Her interaction with me are much improved and when mom leaves there is no more screaming tantrums on the floor. I still occasionally get the "rejection curl" when mom is here and I need to hold her.

Today has been nice. Mom is off seeing The Help with her mom and I am here with Grace. No problems when mom drove away. We went on a walk and watched some TV, had lunch and went on another walk with me carrying her so that she would fall asleep. She was fussy so I knew she was tired.

I looked at the attachment assessment tool on CCAI's website and I am very pleased that Grace is very much attached to us. When strangers speak to her she gives them that why are you bothering me frown.

I am really glad I am able to take the extended Family Leave to be with her. This is already paying dividends with respect to her attachment to me.

Here are various pictures of Grace:

The Past Four Days

We have been home for four days now and what an experience. Today, Sunday, Grace has been with me most of the day but has allowed herself to be passed between Danielle and I with little fuss. The three prior days she has been exclusively with Danielle. Madyson is having a hard time adjusting as she has regressed some, being argumentative and not following directions. She is also over dramatic about the slightest of bumps. She just does not realize that she will always be my little princess. I know this is normal and hopefully in a week or so she will complete her adjustment.

Grace is amazing as she appears to be picking up English amazingly fast. She follows our commands so well I wonder if she has been taught some English?


Are you listening to me?












Grace's first Sabbath at church:

The Journey Home

Grace and I took this picture just before leaving for the airport in Guangzhou.











Here we are on the plane for our 13 hour plane ride.










Grace with her sister Madyson on the way home. It was Grace's first time in a car seat.








Over all Grace did well on the 13 hour plane ride but there was a time when she got tire and afraid of the darkness on the plane. The result was that she screamed bloody murder. This was a cling to mommy day and mom was exhausted so I took her and stared to carry her on the plane. A great stewardess on Cathay Pacific pulled me into the galley, closed the curtains and turned on the lights. That calmed Grace right down to my relief and I am sure the other passengers. I am not sure how long I stood in the galley rocking Grace but Danielle got to take a long needed nap during this time. The rest of trip went really well and no one gave us dirty looks for the screaming session earlier in the flight.

Day 13 - The Long Road Home

Today we head home. All of the other families from our travel group have already left. We will be dragging up the rear as our non-stop flight does not leave until 11:40 PM local time. We arrive back in Los Angeles around 9:45 PM on Wednesday, Pacific Daylight Time.

The flight from Guangzhou to Hong Kong was short but long enough for Grace to have a couple of melt-downs. She has a cold and I think the decent into Hong Kong caused her ears have issues. I hope she will be able to sleep most of the flight from Hong Kong to Los Angeles.



Two days ago my body finally yielded to the China time zone and now we are headed back to LA. How ironic. Grace just finished a bottle and Danielle is hoping she will go to sleep but i hope she waits till flight but it is now 8:20 PM and the flight does not leave till 11:40.

Day 12 - Red Couch

Today we did our Red Couch pictures and group pictures of all of CCAI families with our travel dates. Everything is done now and families start leaving tonight and the rest of us leaves tomorrow.

Slight Name Change

Today we found out that we will still need to do a name change back home to give our little one her American name. Since we have this opportunity Danielle and I decided to keep Grace's Chinese middle name Que, pronounced "Chway" with a falling sound. As such her new name will be:

Grace Xiao-Ling Que Lovette.

Day 11 - Consulate Appointment

We left at 8:45 am to go to the US consulate. Cameras are not allowed so there are not pictures. Our friends Marty and Shannon took a picture of us in the lobby of the building. When we get that I will add it.

Basically when you clear security you sit and wait for the consulate person to give you an explanation to what is going to happen. It a simple 1, 2, 3 process:

1. Take the oath for your child. (It's not a citizenship oath but an "immigrant oath." I assume that is because our children gain instant citizenship when we get back to our US port of entry (Los Angeles).

2. Pay the Visa fee of $404

3. Interview and submit the prepared Visa paperwork to the window.

That is it and you are done.

Next we went to the "Pearl Market" which turned out to what Americans know as a indoor mall. It was definitely the place to buy Pearls for a great price and get guaranteed quality at a low price. I now have Danielle's birthday and Christmas gifts.




Tonight we are off to the Pearl River cruise dinner. It should be fun as long as we don't get motion sickness.

Day 10 - Sight Seeing - Shopping - Great Dinner

Today started with a visit to the Six Banyan Buddhist Pagoda (temple). A surreal place with the sound of the Monks chanting. While here some in the group had their babies blessed in a ceremony at the temple. Since we are Christian we did not participate. We will be have Grace dedicated to Christ when we get back to our home church.



After we got back to the White Swan we went shopping with Ann from www.RedThreadChina.com. She took us off Shamian Island to get a great deal on traditional Chinese clothing. Items that on Shamian Island would have cost us 200 to 300 Yuan only cost 60 to 80 Yuan for the same items. For roughly $170 USD we have a large bag of traditional Chinese clothing.



We had our best meal since we arrived in Guangzhou at the Japanese restaurant at the White Swan on the 3rd floor. I definitely recommend it.

Grace is doing better everyday. She is now interacting fully with both Danielle and me. She still gets in moods where she will only want to be held by one or the other but now she will continue to play with the both of us. She also will not got to anyone which is a relief. She might interact but only when she is in our arms.

Grace says....

Day 9 - Clinic Appointment & Visa Pictures

Today we had breakfast and then walked to get Grace's Visa picture and to get the babies physicals. Grace hates taking pictures and anyone in a white lab coat. So all of her "official" pictures have her frowning or crying. The Visa picture took about two minutes for us but we had to wait for the rest of the group to finish. We then walked over to the clinic where we had to wait for quite a while for the paperwork to be prepared and handed out to each family. There were three stations we had to visit, "Height, Weight and Temperature, Ears-Nose-Throat, and Physical Exam." Danielle and I are always second on the list for appointments so we got finished fairly quickly. We were allowed to leave once we finished with our exam.

Here we are waiting to get into the exam room.














On the way back to the White Swan we stopped and got Grace some new squeaky shoes. These are a lot easier to deal with than the ones she had one when we got her. Into the keep sake box goes the old pair.




After that we went with some of the other families to the local mall for some shopping for a few needed supplies. It is interesting to leave the hotel with only a note from our guides telling the taxi driver in Chinese where to take us. It works just fine and the taxi takes you right to where you want to be. We spent about forty-five minutes shopping and back to the hotel.





Here we are and our friends Marty, Shannon and Olivia after shopping.

Day 8 cont. - Arrival in Guangzhou

Danielle and I arrived in Guangzhou from Nanchang alone late yesterday. We were supposed to carry passports for all the families but it turned out that an official was out of town and that delayed things even further. Traveling alone was uneventful but when we got to Guangzhou no one was there waiting holding a CCAI sign. We went outside and no one there and then we returned to baggage claim. I then had Danielle stay there while I took Grace to the bathroom. On the way back I saw a lady come in that appear to be a little lost. I walked past and returned to Danielle. I thought well I guess it is time to call Josh or Lily back in Colorado. I was about to find a wireless connection at the airport to make the call when the lady I passed earlier wonder past and stopped near. She was looking into the secured area we had just exited and then pulled out a list. Danielle asked her if she was with CCAI and to both parties relief she was.

Reflecting on the situation I will only give the following advice to Chinese guides for foreign adoptive parents..."if you go to the airport looking for your party and you find an African-American or Caucasian couple with a Chinese child standing in a Chinese airport...that is probably the people you are looking for and you should speak to them."

Despite the hard bed at the White Swan we were very tired and slept well. PLEASE NOTE: We found out the next day that you can call house keeping and tell them your bed is too hard that will be a pillow top cover on the mattress that will make it a much nicer sleep. Definitely not what you have at home but I will take it.

Day 8 - Travel Group 1739's Sad Goodbye To Nanchang

Today was bitter sweet in that we left Nanchang. The place were we met our precious children and where we met two very special individuals, Evelyn and Lily. Evelyn and Lily where there at the airport to greet us and get us to the hotel. They gave us our children's background and prepared us for their imminent arrival including care instructions, what to expect from the children from the time they were placed in our arms until the time we leave and how to transition the babies. There is so much praise I could give these two but this blog would become an online book. Evelyn and Lily anticipated our needs and even took care of things (keep sake items for the baby) we did not think of that we would have regretted the rest of our lives.

Whatever they are paid to be our guides I am certain it is not enough considering the care and attention they provided to this entire group. The non-CCAI families that were at the hotel with us were envious of the care Evelyn and Lily gave us.

Day 7 - A Visit To The Park

Today we were taken a large park in Nanchang. I did not catch the name but the first picture here is of the title by the entrance.







































Just how crazy is traffic in Nanchang? Here is a car that is turning around after going the wrong way in rush hour traffic. And if you think the drivers care about pedestrians? Think again, we were crossing the street with our babies in our arms and a driver looked right at us and then proceeded to drive up on us as if SHE was going to run us over.



Mommy and Grace at dinner.

Day 6 - Downtime/Rain

Today we went to a pavilion here in Nanchang. It was raining cats and dogs and my camera is not weather proof so a lot of nice pictures that was not able to be taken. Sorry I don't have the name of it available at the moment but it was a very interesting place that had been rebuilt 29 times due to fire. Now it is made of concrete painted to look like wood. The last rebuild date was 1989.

While there I was accosted into taking a picture with a local. He was a young guy with his girlfriend. I think he thought I was a NBA player or someone famous. It was strange at first because I did not know what he wanted but once I figured it our I went with it and put on a big smile for the camera.

Day 5 - Attachment

Today is pretty much a down day as our paperwork is being processed and the babies passports are being processed. The group will heading to Guangzhou on Friday. (Wake up Grace.)







Some significant things happen today as far as attachment goes. From Gotcha Day on Sunday until this afternoon Grace had attached to Danielle and would cry when ever I looked at her. From some strange reason she attached to me this afternoon and started giving Danielle grief. We are not sure why this has happened. It could be that Grace took issue with the baths we are now giving her. Danielle was giving the baths. I do not know if it is typical for attachment to change on a dime like that or not. With that said Grace learned that Danielle and I are a team as she still got her bath. It was just that I was present and helped with the bath.


We went out for a group dinner at a local Chinese restaurant. The food was great and it was a great opportunity for the families to do some more bonding together. Our guides assured us it was authentic Chinese just without the hot spices. Some of our families felt it was Americanized but I do not know how they have come to that conclusion. It was some of the best Chinese food I have ever had.

The fried rice from the Jin Feng Hotel (3rd Floor Restaurant) is possibly the best I have ever had! I will get more before we leave.

Danielle still got to hold Grace today.


After dinner we went to the little grocery store and walked in the courtyard between the hotel and the restaurant. I must look in need of religion as while I was taking this picture a local walked up and handed me some religious literature, which was in Chinese. Our guide translated a little and from what I can tell and to my surprise it was Christian information.

This is only funny because when we were in Hong Kong the same thing happen. If they only knew my role in our church back home. It gives me a smile and serves as a reminder that God/Christ is everywhere. Even in Red China.




Another long day is over and time for bed.